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Things escalated so quickly I now realized that I had way too much alcohol in me to drive, but I certainly wasn't going to let that stop a possible threesome, albeit 2 dicks and 1 chick.

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I convince everyone we should head out and we all pile in the front seat of my car. There were only 2 bucket seats in the front and Nadine is sitting on the center console with one hand down my pants and one hand down Bill's.

I was praying for Jesus to lead my car home to just let this happen.

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We finally make it back to Bill's house and Nadine starts to fade. Bill reaches to help her out the passenger side as she pushes him away.

All my fears of losing this golden opportunity came heaving out of Nadine as she threw up all over the sidewalk. Five minutes prior to that I had every threesome porn scene I had ever watched running through my head. I was game planning how this was going to go down.

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Will it be weird if we make eye contact? Will she want to kiss me right after sucking his dick? What if I want to high five?

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Just when I had given up all hope, Nadine raised up and told us not to worry. She just needed to get that out and she was feeling much better. In my drunken state I was so focused on my performance that I wasn't phased in the slightest by her getting sick.

It was full speed ahead. We get inside and stumble our way to Bill's room. Nadine spills onto the bed and it hits me.

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I have to run back out to my car and get a condom. She seems a little too familiar with this. I run back out to my car, grab a condom from the car, and sprint back inside so I didn't miss anything.

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As I get back inside the door to Bill's room is closed. And it's locked.

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Oh hell no I didn't just get left out of this. There's no way this selfish son of a bitch is going to have me risk DUI so he can have her to himself. I had played it up in my mind so much that I was pissed this wasn't going to happen.

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So I'm jiggling the doorknob back and forth and about to start throwing my shoulder into the door when I hear a voice. Did I mention BIll still lived with his parents?

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I had woken up his mom who was now 3 feet from me in the hall way in the middle of the night trying to break into her son's room so that I could tag team this girl. The only thing I could think of was to say, "I left my keys in Bill's room and the door is locked.

Fantastic, there was a key to his room right above my head and all was not lost. I waited for his mom to go back into her room and due to my drunken state I now tried to key open the door as quietly as possible to surprise them. I open the door to find Nadine passed out on her stomach and her skirt hiked up around her waist.

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Bill is down to his boxer shorts sitting in his computer chair trying to position his webcam at the bed. Something sobered me up as I just stood there frozen and told him I couldn't do it. I turned around and walked out of the room totally defeated. Bill would eventually be the best man in my wedding and I still to this day have never asked him what happened in that room after I left.

Kate Upton just turned up the heat on her 26th birthday with this steamy, topless video. Kate Upton has a message for her fans - and it's one you're definitely going to want to see with your own eyes! The year-old model celebrated her birthday beachside over the weekend, after a whirlwind week in the media Softball star Lauren Chamberlain posed nude in ESPN's Body Issue to throw beauty standards a curveball Published: June 27, at p.m. ET Gorgeous and slender 5'7" blonde bombshell Heather Starlet was born on August 14, in Dayton, Ohio. Of mixed German and Polish descent, she was a cheerleader in high school and started out in the adult entertainment industry as a nude artistic model. She began performing in explicit hardcore

I had just decided to take the second semester of my junior year of college off, and since I was the kind of lame guy who still lived in school housing by my third year, this meant I had to return to the tiny, shitty Virginia beach town where my parents lived and where I had grown up. In truth it wasn't that bad, but it certainly felt ignominious. One July night, a couple of young vacationing ladies, both of whom were fairly attractive physically, but unfortunately one of whose voice made me want to just cut living things with a knife, climbed aboard my Shame Wagon and started chatting me up.

Both of them. Not having any high school hookups I could call in, and trying to remain as invisible as possible in my old stomping grounds, I hadn't enjoyed the company of a lady for some time, and my desperation quickly got the upper hand over my judgment, as we exchanged phone numbers when they got off.

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I told them I was off at midnight, they told me where they were staying and that they had booze. This was good enough for me. Turns out they were in one of the nicer summer home neighborhoods, staying with one of their parents, which immediately raised a red flag with me regarding age. After they let me, Don't Wake Daddy style, into the house, and their giant bedroom with two beds, I felt like this situation needed to be checked out, because it was pretty clear to me at this point, even before I had started drinking, that I was headed to Threesometown.

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Turns out that my fears were null; they were both eighteen and headed to college the following August they literally showed me their drivers licenses, uimfperu.comovoked, which was probably the skeeziest I've ever felt despite being only two years their senior.

The aforementioned booze was a worst-case scenario waiting to happen: 99 Berries.

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In hindsight, I should have fled as soon as that came out, but a threesome wasn't something I would pass up, especially in my state of desperation. There were about 7 shots in the bottle, so we each had two back to back, and I added another "to back".

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Three fast shots of 99 proof liquor was enough to get me off to a decent buzz, and two was clearly enough for them to get the three way makeout going. This went on for a while, and started to progress.

There were massages, clothes coming off, some dry humping, and I had pretty much already started congratulating myself and my boner on our good work and questionable morals when I noticed that one of the girls had vanished, and it had become a one-on-one session with the girl whose voice I could tolerate.

This was fine with me, until I started to hear crying sounds. Looked over on the other bed, and there was Obnoxious Voice we'll call her Girl B, and the girl I am with Girl A for the rest of the story crying, and Oh, what the hell her nose is bleeding! Swimsuit by Beach Riot. Swimsuit by PilyQ.

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